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Changed Your Mind About a Divorce?

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 19 May 2021 |
 
Changed Your Mind About A Divorce?

If you and your ex have decided to make a go of it again you are not the only ones! A considerable number of people each year separate or take time away from their partners without actually going through the divorce process. The law also recognizes that couples need a ‘cooling off’ period, in case they wish to change their minds. This is why the divorce process takes several months to complete, even for uncontested and simple divorces.

How to Stop Your Divorce

If you and your spouse decide to make a go of things, you can stop your divorce from being finalised. It is only possible to apply for a decree absolute six weeks and one day after you receive your decree nisi. If you have already had a decree nisi, it is only the petitioner who can then apply for the decree absolute after this period. If as the petitioner you do not do this, there will be no divorce but you should write to the court (or your solicitor) dealing with your divorce and inform them that you are withdrawing from the divorce proceedings.

If the petitioner has not applied, the respondent can apply for a decree absolute three months, six weeks and one day after the grant of the decree nisi. If the respondent has been the one to apply for the decree absolute they should write to the court or to their solicitor to have the proceedings stopped.

When is it too Late to Stop the Divorce?

You can stop your divorce proceedings any time up until the grant of the decree absolute. Once your decree absolute has been granted, there is no going back. It is not possible to ‘cancel’ a decree absolute as by law you have then completed the divorce proceedings and are no longer married to one another. If you and your spouse have changed your mind about divorcing, it is imperative that you let your solicitor know as soon as possible to prevent your divorce being finalised. If your decree absolute has already been granted, you are then free to re-marry your spouse (or anyone else) if you wish to.

It is often the case that neither party applies for the decree absolute as soon as they are legally able to (i.e. six weeks or four and a half months after the grant of the decree nisi). This is because it is advisable to hold off on applying for the decree absolute until any financial disputes between you and your spouse (or your lawyers) have been rectified.

Can I Re-Start the Divorce Proceedings Later On?

If you and your spouse change your minds again, you will have to commence proceedings again.

What if I Want to Defend My Divorce?

This is a different situation entirely. If you decide that you do not want to divorce your spouse, but they do want to proceed with the divorce, you can contest the divorce. It is worth noting however that if one person wants to contest the divorce, the legal bills can become very expensive. In short, the more issues that one party contests the more the lawyers earn.

In the first instance your respective solicitors will try to ensure that the issues that are contested can be mediated and settled without a court hearing. If this is not possible, the court then decides what each party should be entitled to. This could include access to the children, financial payments, debt apportionment and division of assets.

Although contesting a divorce means that the legal process takes longer, it is worth remembering that one party can file for divorce without the other’s consent being required if you and your spouse have been separated for a period of five years. If one person wants to divorce and has grounds for doing so, then they’ll be able to divorce you.

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[Add a Comment]
My ex-husband and I divorced in 2009 and we got back together a few months ago.....is our divorce voided or do we have to get remarried
Taylor Patterson - 1-Nov-20 @ 12:08 AM
Hi, my parents had divorced 2 years ago in england but the divorce in the original country of marriage ( Romania) has not been declared. In Romania They are still married and in England divorced. They would like to get back together officially and be married legally. They live in England. What is the process ?
Ana - 18-Sep-20 @ 10:18 PM
Hi, I petitioned for divorce and my wife has agreed and sent the acknowledgment papers. I have now changed my mind about divorce before being granted the decree nisi. My wife now wants the divorce to go ahead with the divorce. If I don't want the divorce then should she petition against me?
chris - 28-Jul-20 @ 7:41 PM
Hi, I have filed a divorce and after my wife receiving the papers, she has signed the acknowledgement papers with no intension of defending the case and send back the papers to court. Now can she step-back in any reason and say that she want to defend? what will be my options to get the divorce.
naren - 13-Nov-19 @ 11:22 AM
Following a period of uncertainty for various reasons that I do comprehend, my husband rashly and under duress applied for our divorce last week. The petition has been received by myself causing instant regret by him and he wishes to retract before it’s really started. Can he get his £550 fee returned or any proportion at this stage as it is likely to be withdrawn within the 7 day response window whilst he/we seek the actual support required at this time?
Calm - 26-Jul-19 @ 7:38 AM
Hi I filed for a divorce 8 years ago and the last bit was not completed.how much would it cost for it to be completed now.
Sid - 9-Jul-19 @ 8:52 PM
Hi, I got my decree absolute after an ex parte decree nisi 7 months back & married exactly 3 weeks after decree absolute. I didn’t have any financial or child issues with my ex, but now I’m pregnant with my current Husband. My ex now has requested to revise the case in the grounds of “per incurium” as he defends that decree nisi has not been served to him as he shows his passport to say he was out of country during the decree nisi was served. What will possibly happen to my?
Bella - 5-Jul-19 @ 8:49 AM
If I file for divorce and my husband signs that he agrees Can he stop the divorce later, or is it only me that can do that
Fred - 5-Dec-18 @ 3:55 PM
my husband filed the divorce last year and i received the papers. than he withdrawn the divorce before i sign n send it back. i still have those unsigned papers. it’s being a year now can i reactivate that divorce on behalf of the papers i received last year ? will this way be economical in any way ? pls suggest
N - 25-Jul-18 @ 7:14 AM
My wife filed a petition based on unreasonable behavior and we agreed with the reasons. It has filed in court.We are working out financial detail and in while,she has heard I have a girlfriend and do not have proof. She is threaten t take me to courton adultry.
Tony - 15-Jun-18 @ 8:26 PM
Hi , My husband filled for divorce in March 2018 , as we have been separated almost 3 years. I signed and returned papers straight away .He now is refusing to sign the Decree Nisi ? We have no children or assets , what can I do ? Can I ask for decree nisi ?or am I stuck until he signs it as the petitioner ?
loulou99 - 9-Jun-18 @ 8:24 PM
Blondie - Your Question:
I started divorce proceedings last year but my husband paper superceeded my as he want to freeze an inheritance that I had not received.We are at the stage now when the Nisi will be issued. We both dont want the absolute and the finances have not been sorted.Can the Nisi be rescinded by him and do we still have to continue with the finances if we are both trying to start afresh together.

Our Response:
As specified in the article, you or your husband can stop your divorce proceedings any time up until the grant of the decree absolute.
DivorceResource - 6-Apr-18 @ 10:58 AM
I started divorce proceedings last year but my husband paper superceeded my as he want to freeze an inheritance that I had not received. We are at the stage now when the Nisi will be issued. We both dont want the absolute and the finances have not been sorted. Can the Nisi be rescinded by him and do we still have to continue with the finances if we are both trying to start afresh together.
Blondie - 5-Apr-18 @ 2:53 PM
Hay - Your Question:
Hi, I sent off papers and cheque to start divorce proceedings last year. The papers were sent to my husband who would not sign. Duplicate papers were sent a few months later but still he would not sign. We have now sorted things out and no longer need the divorce. Would it be possible to get some of the money back as it didn’t go to court?

Our Response:
You can see more via the gov.uk link here, which should explain all you need to know.
DivorceResource - 26-Mar-18 @ 10:33 AM
Hi, I sent off papers and cheque to start divorce proceedings last year. The papers were sent to my husband who would not sign. Duplicate papers were sent a few months later but still he would not sign. We have now sorted things out and no longer need the divorce. Would it be possible to get some of the money back as it didn’t go to court?
Hay - 24-Mar-18 @ 4:10 PM
my husbandhe's dervocing meI'm already sign the dervoce papers there's a chance that he can cancel the dervoce
innocentia - 27-Feb-18 @ 5:55 AM
My ex and i have been separated 3 years, and in august i received her application for divorce and posted it back etc. The court received it and posted back to her solicitors on the 1st of September. Yet they are now playing silly games and refusing to apply for the decri nisi. Its a stright forward case with nobody objecting and no children or estate to dispute Can i apply for the decri nisi or can i start my own proceedings with this one already started ?
jj - 9-Dec-17 @ 4:18 PM
I recently filed for divorce, my ex has signed the papers and sent them back. Next step is the Nisci, can he change his mind and contest now he’s sent them back or is it all down to me now? I know what he’s like and I don’t want to get too relaxed if there’s still chance it can get complicated?
BKNE - 5-Dec-17 @ 9:51 PM
I have 2 queries please: If I disagree the grounds but do not intend to defend the divorce what will the implications be? Also, if my husband withdraws his petition, will he get his fee back? I would get legal aid so could petition myself and get it paid for and then we can put the fee towards mediation?
Jojo - 1-Dec-17 @ 2:27 PM
@LisaJ - the petitioner can ask for the divorce proceedings to stop but the respondent can't. But if your ex wants to still proceed with the divorce, you can contest it, but this will 'cost'. This means a large chunk of the money you might hope to save, could end up being sucked up in legal wrangling and legal fees (and if anything can suck up money lengthy court cases or court challenges can). You can't really escape the division of assets - it's part of the marriage agreement.
Laura* - 6-Nov-17 @ 10:20 AM
My husband and I have the Divorse Nisi and now await the Divorse Absolute.We have each paid our separate pensions.He has contributed little or nothing to the house purchase or family expenses. I do not wish him to have half of my pension or a large share of the family house.Can I cancel Divorse Absolute proceedings and what happens if I am able to do so?? Positive comments will be appreciated.Thank you. Lauren
LisaJ - 5-Nov-17 @ 11:08 AM
tezana - Your Question:
I started a divorce proceeding last yr and got a decree this year in March.I realised I did a mistake my partner have no idea about this and he wants to come back.are we still legally married?

Our Response:
If you have received the decree absolut (it usually comes six weeks after the decree nisi), then you will be legally divorced. If either one of you you stalled it at decree nisi and have not applied for the decree absolut, then you are legally married.
DivorceResource - 18-Sep-17 @ 2:46 PM
I started a divorce proceeding last yr and got a decree this year in March.I realised I did a mistake my partner have no idea about this and he wants to come back.are we still legally married?
tezana - 16-Sep-17 @ 2:08 AM
8 years ago my partners ex filed took it to nisi stage then stopped it if he applies for the absolute can she stop it from going through he was told by her that she had divorced him so that's why he's left it till now thank you
lol - 24-Aug-17 @ 1:57 PM
Two years ago I started the process where my husband sign the divorce I bought an index number. After papers got notarize Idid not turn in the papers due to us trying again but now I know I need the divorce.Do I need to start all over or can I turn in the documents I do have already
Natta - 23-Jul-17 @ 11:59 AM
@Eltommo - just reading your message while looking for information for myself. First of all you have to 'respect' your ex's wishes. Your ex has applied for divorce over domestic violence, you say you've been controlling, your ex says she feels the need to have to 'escape' and you still want to keep the family together and seek help for 'her'. If you admit to being controlling, give her some space and respect her wishes. That way you may gain the result you want. Only when someone tries to imprison, does someone feel the need to escape. Give her freedom, let go and try a different less manipulative, more respectful listening approach and you may then find she is more accommodating and more inclined not to feel the need to run. Only then you may be able to build bridges to a more understanding relationship between her and your kids. Push and she'll back off, relax and there's a chance she'll come forward. It's your only hope.
Soph72 - 20-Jun-17 @ 9:58 AM
Hello, I started divorce proceedings but couldnt find him...so no papers were signed and gave up I now want to re-marry and am desperate.to re start the petition.We have been seperated for well over 10years and the petition is also over 10 yrs can this be re started?And if so how can i find the petition number?
Vicks - 11-Jun-17 @ 11:52 PM
I have a Decree Nisi granted, I'm not the petitioner I could stop the divorce because I have suffered -victim for the purpose of getting papers -the right to protection from intimidation and harassment -right to restitution from the offender -the right to apply for crime victim compensation
GB123 - 6-Jun-17 @ 12:58 PM
I started an amicable divorce two and a halfyears ago.After the decree nIsi was granted , we changed our minds . We now want to divorce .. Can we re activate the decree nisi to decree absolute. is it held on file ?thank you
dizzy - 4-May-17 @ 2:00 PM
I started divorce proceedings in October 15 and got to decree nisi but changed my mind but now realised I have made a mistake and would like to Pursue the divorce.Do I need to start the proceedings again
Shoes - 31-Dec-16 @ 12:09 PM
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