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Restore Your Relationship

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 7 Dec 2018 |
 
Marriage Relationship Survive Help Date

Recently Victoria Beckham told a celebrity magazine that the secret to keeping her marriage alive with David is a weekly ‘date night.’ While you may think that this sounds strange or perhaps superficial, it can do wonders for a long-term relationship or marriage. What you do and how you choose to do it is entirely up to you, but by making a commitment to spend a night, a week or perhaps a whole weekend once a month, just spending quality time together, can do wonders for your relationship.

Why Date Nights Work

It is no secret that marriages can go stale, that you can grow bored of one another, and that you can forget what made you so excited about your spouse when you first met. Sometimes, the strain of life can mean that you grow apart – especially if you are young parents. The trick is ensuring that you stir up those memories, revive them and keep them alive.

It isn’t necessary to spend a lot of money, or to make a big show of things, but if you both know that ‘date night’ is your night, you’ll both make an effort (hopefully!) Whatever you choose to do is up to you – some couples cook a special meal together, others order a takeaway and share a bottle of wine in front of the tv; yet others go out for a romantic supper. It doesn’t really matter what you decide should constitute your ‘date’, but it’s important that you both know it is just for you. Ideally you should arrange for your children to be looked after by someone else or if they are young, wait until they have gone to bed.

If you haven’t got time to commit to once a week, why not save up to have a weekend away once in a while? If you’re lost for inspiration as to what to do or where to go, think back to when you first met. What did you do then? Where did you go? Is there somewhere that is very special to both of you?

Some people worry that if they start having ‘date’ nights that ‘life’ will eventually get in the way. The risk is that they’ll both start feeling bad that they’re not giving the time to date night that they previously did. Rather than once a week, you could always try six dates over six months. You can devise a different thing to do each time, and make sure that it is something that you will both enjoy (that’s why dinner can be such a good option!)

What To Do?

  • Choose a film each from the year that each of you were born and watch them together; or perhaps rent films that came out the year that you met one another.
  • Write your own trivia questions to test each other with: take twelve pieces of paper or note cards and write down some multiple choice questions about yourself. The questions and answers can be funny or serious – it’s up to you. Take it in turns to ask each other questions – you’ll get to know each other better and you’ll have fun in the meantime.
  • Have a duvet day – both book a day off work and spend it in bed.
  • Dress up and have a fantastic formal dinner at home

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