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Can a Wife Force Her Husband to Move Out?

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 17 Dec 2018 |
 
Divorce Separation Grounds Family Home

Q.

My daughter in law has decided she no longer wants to be married to my son (for no good reason other than she is fed up). They have 3 year old twins. He is a fantastic father and does not wish to leave his home (that he jointly owns) and boys. Has she the right to make him leave prior to any legal separation or divorce?

(J.S, 6 July 2009)

A.

I was saddened to read that your son is in this situation with his wife and two young children. As for the question of whether your daughter in law has the right to tell your son to leave – the answer in short is no. Your daughter in law would need to get a solicitor, and go to court to obtain an order to force your son from the family home.

Valid Grounds for Divorce

You have mentioned that your daughter in law is merely ‘fed up’. This is not a valid ground for divorce unless your son was willing to accept that the marriage had irretrievably broken down. There are five ways that this can be proven:

  • One spouse has committed adultery
  • One spouse has behaved unreasonably
  • One spouse has deserted the other for a minimum of two years
  • Both spouses consent to separation and have remained separated for at least two years
  • One spouse has decided to separate from the other spouse (without the other’s consent) for a minimum period of five years.
As your daughter in law may soon discover, it isn’t merely a matter of becoming fed up and deciding unilaterally to bring the marriage to an end.

Children and the Family Home

If your son decided that his marriage had become unbearable so that he chose to leave voluntarily, that would not have any effect on his ownership of the property – he would still be the joint owner.

In the event that your daughter in law does decide to pursue divorce proceedings, the court has wide ranging powers in relation to visitation rights and what happens to the family home. If the worst does come to the worst, your son has legal rights in relation to maintaining contact with his two children.

Marriage Help

It may be worth suggesting (obviously without wanting to look as though you’re interfering) that your son and his wife could try to address their problems, either by approaching Relate (www.relate.org.uk) or another marriage guidance service. Using this type of service is not a sign of weakness in a marriage, rather that the two people involved are adult enough to want to work together for the sake of their marriage and their children. If your daughter in law has left it until she is ‘fed up’ with the marriage before telling your son she feels this way, they may as a couple benefit from improving the way they communicate with one another.

I really hope that your son and daughter in law can address their issues without having to resort to separation or divorce.

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I am a mother of 2 young children. They are both extremely challenging with a degree of issues including autism. My husband, who is in a very high powered job and who works away a lot is basically unable to cope with them. In addition to this, the nature of his job has now made him become more and more controlling. When he is away from home family life is a lot easier. When he's here despite the fact he's hardly seen us, he's very moody and aggressive. Although he's never hit me the aggression and controlling are becoming worse and he can be very rough towards the children and imo frightening. He has also on occasion smacked them. I personally don't think his parenting is acceptable but tho I've said this I have always stopped short of reporting him. He regularly shouts and swears at me and around me and the children. He undermines me and on occasion when I try and speak to him makes out it's all me and in my head. I have asked him to speak to a GP, psychologist and also suggested marriage guidance but he didn't want to know. Life is hard dealing with 2 small children with issues. When he blows up at them and takes it out on me, which often happens,he forgets I too am living with it aswell as him and his moods and temper. I have tried for years to fix it but I really think we're at the end of the line. I really don't want to live the rest of my life like this.I have pretty much made up my mind we're over. He has admitted things arent good but seems to thinks its temporary and we'll 'get our lives back' at some stage. I just cant see a future and I have now also committed adultery. I alwats believed children were better in a 2 parent family but my children often shout at me the sane way he does and i see the negative impact its having. I really just want to move on with my children and be happy. We've spoke briefly in past....well I have...about separation but he didn't want to know and has said he's not leaving me and our children and if I want to go I can but I'm not taking the children either. I don't work and I'm primary carer! On account of my work status I really don't know what to do? Leave? Stay? Try and encourage him to go.....in addition I don't know my rights. We have a fairly large house with a large degree of equity and a mortgage with only a few years to run....but without a job and nowhere to go I don't even know where to start.....help!!
Sad mum - 20-Aug-18 @ 4:23 PM
AS - Your Question:
I am a 51 year old mum of three. My marriage is having difficulties as my husband for the last five years has in my opinion suffering from depression and behaves unreasonably and has anger management issues. He has had several major anger outbursts and the last two in front of my 11 yearold daughter who is now quite scared. The last one happened about a week ago and I packed my bag and have moved out. I told him to leave but he refuses. He now does nothing at home, doesn't cook for the kids, doesn't clean, doesn't spend any time with my young daughter. He just goes to work and comes home and sits in front of the tv or laptop. I'm worried my kids are not being looked after. I need to move back in and he needs to move out. Is there any way that I can make him? 15 years ago he had an affair but ended it as he didn't want to loose the kids and the depression and anger started as a result of that.

Our Response:
If you are married, you are entitled to move back into your family home. Your only option is to push him towards mediation (as a way of negotiating a separation) or court. You can only apply for an occupation order to the home if you are the victim of domestic violence. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options.
DivorceResource - 16-Aug-18 @ 9:50 AM
I am a 51 year old mum of three.My marriage is having difficulties as my husband for the last five years has in my opinion suffering from depression and behaves unreasonably and has anger management issues.He has had several major anger outbursts and the last two in front of my 11 yearold daughter who is now quite scared.The last one happened about a week ago and I packed my bag and have moved out.I told him to leave but he refuses.He now does nothing at home, doesn't cook for the kids, doesn't clean, doesn't spend any time with my young daughter.He just goes to work and comes home and sits in front of the tv or laptop.I'm worried my kids are not being looked after.I need to move back in and he needs to move out.Is there any way that I can make him?15 years ago he had an affair but ended it as he didn't want to loose the kids and the depression and anger started as a result of that.
AS - 15-Aug-18 @ 11:19 AM
Dave- Your Question:
My wife and I haven't been getting on recently and she decided to go to see a friend in Wales for a couple of days. Then she sent me a message that she was seeing her parents for a couple of days. 3 weeks later she has told me to move out. We have been together for 17 1/2 years and married for 13 years. The house is in her name as are the bill's. In the last 5 years she has been diagnosed with autism. However for a long time she was very depressed. I had to give my job to take care of her. I am now on benefits as a carer. I get carers allowance but all of my income support goes to her. Has she the right to evict me, and do I have any rights.

Our Response:
Even if you are not married, but you are not a legal owner of the home i.e. your name is not on the title deeds, you can register your right to possession of the property and your interest in it by entering a Home Rights Notice at the Land Registry. The link here, should also help answer your question. Due to the length of your marriage you will have rights. If you cannot agree a fair split of the property between you (you may wish to seek professional legal advice in order to establish what this would be), then the matter would have to be referred to court and the basis of the split would be determined by each person's needs. However, if the matter goes to court it will cost. Therefore, it is better if you can negotiate between you or via mediation.
DivorceResource - 14-Aug-18 @ 11:52 AM
My wife and I haven't been getting on recently and she decided to go to see a friend in Wales for a couple of days. Then she sent me a message that she was seeing her parents for a couple of days. 3 weeks later she has told me to move out. We have been together for 17 1/2 years and married for 13 years.The house is in her name as are the bill's. In the last 5 years she has been diagnosed with autism.However for a long time she was very depressed. I had to give my job to take care of her. I am now on benefits as a carer. I get carers allowance but all of my income support goes to her. Has she the right to evict me, and do I have any rights.
Dave - 13-Aug-18 @ 2:42 PM
Pango- Your Question:
Hi lm 57 years old and l was living with my wife last 12 years since 2006. We had married on 2012 april she had divorce before and she has 2 kids both adult age of 21-25. She got her house from her divorce maintanance in 2003. After married,her kids discliked me as a step dad. To many traubles they have caused with police calls. This year my wife acted very odd and on 29 of march 2018 she and her doughter forced me to leave home out. Since we are living a part now. But last year before l concerned for my safety then gone to solicitor made a HR1 form to protect my home rights so far. Now she wants me to lift HR1 form from me badly. But l refused. If we go for devorce do l have financial rights on property?how much? House price was £200000 pound on 2007. Now £500000 pound cash no mortgage. Please please let me have bit idea Thank you for all who is going to help to my matter so far. Best Regards.

Our Response:
If the house is in your ex's name and was owned by her before your marriage it will be treated as a pre-marital asset. In most pre-marital asset cases (if the marriage is short), then the property would return to your ex. However, if you can prove you have contributed to the property in terms of refurbishment and/or financially (when you were living together), then you may have a case. The problem with taking any matter to court, is that the cost of court and legal representation can often outweigh any financial gain. If you can agree a financial split prior to court, this may be more cost-effective. You would be advised to seek independent legal advice regarding this matter in order to fully explore your options.
DivorceResource - 3-Aug-18 @ 10:30 AM
Hi lm 57 years old and l was living with my wife last 12 years since 2006. We had married on 2012 april she had divorce before and she has 2 kids both adult age of 21-25. She got her house from her divorce maintanance in 2003.After married,her kids discliked me as a step dad. To many traubles they have caused with police calls. This year my wife acted very odd and on 29 of march 2018 she and her doughter forced me to leave home out. Since we are living a part now. But last year before l concerned for my safety then gone to solicitor made a HR1 form to protect my home rights so far. Now she wants me to lift HR1 form from me badly. But l refused. If we go for devorce do l have financial rights on property?how much? House price was £200000 pound on 2007. Now £500000 pound cash no mortgage. Please please let me have bit idea Thank you for all who is going to help to my matter so far. Best Regards.
Pango - 2-Aug-18 @ 10:36 AM
Cdw - Your Question:
I have been with my wife for 11 years and married for the last 2. She told me this week she was leaving me but wouldnt let me have a divorce. As far as I know there has been no cheating involved but she is known by myself and even her family for thinking the grass is always greener. We have a young son and I have a teenage stepson. I pay for pretty much everything as she has spent the last couple of years at uni and still has another year to go. Where do I stand? Most importantly with my son but also financially as I am paying off debts that she got us before we were married “not paying council tax and not paying car insurance when she said she was” are just a couple of examples. If we remain married am I then liable for any other debts she gets? Any advice would be appreciated not just on the financial issues I am a bit lost at the moment and dont really have anyone I can turn to.

Our Response:
When you are in a marriage, income and finances are considered joint. The link here, should explain all you need to know.
DivorceResource - 6-Jul-18 @ 3:15 PM
I have been with my wife for 11 years and married for the last 2. She told me this week she was leaving me but wouldnt let me have a divorce. As far as i know there has been no cheating involved but she is known by myself and even her family for thinking the grass is always greener. We have a young son and i have a teenage stepson. I pay for pretty much everything as she has spent the last couple of years at uni and still has another year to go. Where do i stand? Most importantly with my son but also financially as i am paying off debts that she got us before we were married “not paying council tax and not paying car insurance when she said she was” are just a couple of examples. If we remain married am i then liable for any other debts she gets? Any advice would be appreciated not just on the financial issues i am a bit lost at the momentand dont really have anyone i can turn to.
Cdw - 4-Jul-18 @ 2:14 PM
mandy walker - Your Question:
My civil partner of 6 years is mentally damaged from childhood and this has ruined our partnership as she is so cold. I owned a large house before her and she only brought contents from her council house. she has 5 children only 1 of which is dependent financially. she works full time as I do. can I get her to leave and have a court treat my house as a non joint asset as she is financially independant and able to provide for her child?

Our Response:
The link here , will tell you all you need to know.
DivorceResource - 28-Jun-18 @ 10:40 AM
My civil partner of 6 years is mentally damaged from childhood and this has ruined our partnership as she is so cold. I owned a large house before her and she only brought contents from her council house. she has 5 children only 1 of which is dependent financially. she works full time as I do. can I get her to leave and have a court treat my house as a non joint asset as she is financially independant and able to provide for her child?
mandy - 27-Jun-18 @ 3:02 PM
@freedom2018 - she can't force you to sell unless you sign an agreement to do so. If she wanted to force it she would have to take it to court.
Bev - 8-Jun-18 @ 12:51 PM
my wife of 34 years walked out in March.unable to contact her due to court order.no children living at home.home mortgage free.can she force sale before divorce.she has not filed for a divorce yet.playing games.I don't want to get back with her.and our grown up children don't want to talk to her again because of her lies.please help.
freedom2018 - 7-Jun-18 @ 8:10 AM
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