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Who Gets Custody?

By: James Bloom - Updated: 13 Jan 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Marriage Relationship Divorce Breaking

Deciding on residency arrangements (previously known as custody) for your children after you break up can be a complicated issue. If you and your partner cannot agree together on where they will live, a court can be asked to decide. Depending on your individual circumstances, this can be a painful process. The courts will only make a residency order if all other options have been exhausted.

Parental Responsibility

When a married couple separate, both mother and father have parental responsibility. If they are unmarried, only the mother has automatic rights in respect of the child, so if they break up, she has the sole right to look after her child in a manner and place as she sees fit.

Since 2002, an unmarried father can also acquire parental responsibility if he jointly registers the child’s birth with the mother. He can also get parental responsibility if both partners sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement. This can be done at any time during the relationship or separation and can also be ordered by a court during or after the separation process.

Whether or not the father has parental responsibility, he is still responsible for the financial support of his children. He can be contacted by the Child Support Agency for this money.

Deciding Residency

One of the forms usually presented at court along with a divorce petition is a Statement of Arrangements, which proposes where and with whom the children will live, schools they will attend, who looks after them and how often they see the other parent.

The divorce petitioner should, as a matter of good practise, present the statement to the other parent for agreement before it is submitted. Courts encourage the parents to reach an agreement without them having to get involved. If you are having trouble reaching an agreement, it may be worth seeing a mediator before you divorce.

Mediators can be very helpful resolving sensitive issues like where your children will live. They provide an organised and constructive environment in which you can look at all the possible options and concerns and decide which is the most beneficial for your children and you. They have a good track record in helping children maintain family relationships. Mediation can be free depending on your circumstances.

At the start of divorce proceedings, the court will set up a conciliation appointment. If this does not result in agreement, the court will get both you and your partner to talk to a CAFCASS officer, from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Services. If an agreement still cannot be reached, the officer you see will take statements and make a recommendation to the court.

It is important to co-operate with the CAFCASS officer as their opinion is very influential to the court’s decision.

How the Courts Decide

In the 1989 Children’s Act, it states that when the court makes any decision about a child, the child’s welfare must be the court’s ‘paramount consideration’. There is a list of key factors they take into account when making their decision:
  • Your child’s wishes and feelings. These will be given more consideration the older the child is.
  • Your child’s physical, emotional and educational needs. This covers both love & affection and food & housing.
  • The likely effect of a change of circumstances on your child. Their greatest concern here will be causing minimum disturbance to the child.
  • Your child’s age, sex and background. This could include cultural, religious or disability needs.
  • If your child has suffered harm or is at risk of suffering harm. Recently, this also includes any domestic abuse the child has seen or heard.
  • The parents’ capabilities with regard to the child’s needs. This can include assessing whether the non-resident parent is capable of caring for the child. Or whether either parent is impaired by drink or drugs.
  • The range of powers available to the court. There are a range of orders a court can make. Sometimes they decide no order is necessary.
More than half of all cases where residency is ordered by a court result in the mother being awarded sole residency. Around one-fifth result in sole residency being awarded to the father (a significant increase from the 1990s). Joint residency is also awarded in approximately one-fifth of divorces.

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My husband and I are going through a divorce now
pjames - 13-Jan-18 @ 1:11 AM
I have been separated from my husband now for over 6months.we have a little girl. Which he doesn't see. He used to always down me and call me vial names and control me. Always asking for my phone asking how much money I spent and where. I worked hard for my money and he was shout and get angry if I was late home for 5min. Or spoke men to long at work. He would tell me what to wear. And if I didnt answer his calls or texts he would get aggressive. He would spit at me. Publicly humiliate me. Punch slam doors and through objects. Then I got pregnant his anger was worse he made me live in hostel I was always alone. He would refuse to give me money for food. Heavily pregnant he drove dangerously and wished me dead and told me three times abort baby and he will not pay a penny to me or baby. Again day of birth with me and family he drove dangerously. And tried to kidnap baby and a suited my dad we called police on him. He didn't come round he started to beg to see baby there was agreement we made nd told police of when he could see child he broke it. And said i was not his wife and he would sleep with other women and I'd have to hide it from family I was just his side peice. I broke completely to much abuse and him threatening me and not paying a penny to child so I refused him near me and child for safety but he keeps coming back leaving months between. I called police again but they said they can't charge him for harassment as he has not shown violence or threat this time. I cannot even leave my home without fear he would attack me or steal child. The police said he can win access to see child. But he's dangerous and she's settled and happy. He didn't come to her hospital appointments when she has serious problems he never came anything or payed anything he said he wanted divorce and wanted nothing to do with child and now months later he wants to see her. He has no visa stay in UK he fighting to get stay he works illegally and he pretending to immigration he Still with me and lives here. I reported this I just don't know what to do anymore I don't want him near me and baby I can't afford solicitor or Court fees I so worried. What do I do
Staystrong - 3-Jan-18 @ 4:19 PM
confusedmum - Your Question:
The baby is my partners who I been with 6 years nearly

Our Response:
I'm afraid we are unable to comment on individual cases. You would have to seek legal advice regarding this matter.
DivorceResource - 8-Dec-17 @ 12:56 PM
the baby is my partners who i been with 6 years nearly
confusedmum - 8-Dec-17 @ 12:39 AM
Zeze - Your Question:
So me and my ex partner share a 2 year I was his primary carer from when he was born my ex partner was very abusive Which then led me calling police on him to remove him from my house Social Workers had then got involved a lot of incidence accrued which then let to my child going on Child protection I was homeless at the time and had nowhere to go so my ex partners mother reached out and said come and stay at hers for a Little while until I find somewhere long story short they kicked me out and called police on me and stopped me from attending my. Child’s nursery or even hospitals appointments and because I moved borough a new social worker has taken on our case. They seem to be on his side and believe everything he says about me they have told me to seek legal advice and take it to court I haven’t seen my child in a couple months he’s father is doing this because he is a bitter human would he get full custody of my child need advice !!!!!! I’m so confused and hurt

Our Response:
If both parents have Parental Responsibility and one parent is keeping the children against the other's wishes, then court is the only option. It will then be up to the court to decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child. We cannot anticipate what a court will decide as Cafcass will get involved when making such a decision. The Cafcass staff who compile the reports are known as children and family reporters. It’s their job to interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or even relatives. This means, before it makes a decision the court has an all-round comprehensive view from all those involved. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it. If you cannot afford legal representation in court, you can represent yourself, please see link here .
DivorceResource - 30-Nov-17 @ 11:37 AM
BF - Your Question:
I have just gone through a divorce that was all going well until I explained that the agreed every Tuesday and every other weekend arrangement for myself with our child would be something I would look to change once I had a suitable place. We are selling our house and will both be buying properties near to his school. I have had a completely active part in my child's life in all aspects including working 5 days in 4 to have him for a day each week (when we were together). My ex wife dropped out of mediation last minute and started making claims of abuse (completely untrue), questioning my mental health and claims of drinking. None of these have any real proof and her mental health issues are worse than anything I have hence I dont believe they carry any weight either way. I have formerly requested 50/50 and she is refusing and threatening to go to court so I see my son only every other weekend. Could she really do this?

Our Response:
Your ex can do this. Likewise, if your ex has refused access and also refused to attend mediation, then you too will have the option to take the matter to court. In a situation such as this when your ex denies access, you may wish to ask a solicitor to send a letter asking your ex to reinstate access and what the repercussions will be if access is not reinstated and/or mediation is refused. Sometimes, this will do the trick. If your ex ignores all efforts of negotiation, your only recourse would be to apply to court for a child arrangement order, please see link here .
DivorceResource - 30-Nov-17 @ 10:44 AM
So me and my ex partner share a 2 year I was his primary carer from when he was born my ex partner was very abusive Which then led me calling police on him to remove him from my house Social Workers had then got involved a lot of incidence accrued whichthen let to my child going on Child protection I was homeless at the time and had nowhere to go so my ex partners mother reached out and said come and stay at hers for a Little while until I find somewhere long story short they kicked me out and called police on me and stopped me from attending my. Child’s nursery or even hospitals appointments and because I moved borough a new social worker has taken on our case. They seem to be on his side and believe everything he says about me they have told me to seek legal advice and take it to court I haven’t seen my child in a couple months he’s father is doing this because he is a bitter human would he get full custody of my child need advice !!!!!! I’m so confused and hurt
Zeze - 29-Nov-17 @ 3:00 PM
I have just gone through a divorce that was all going well until I explained that the agreed every Tuesday and every other weekend arrangement for myself with our child would be something i would look to change once I had a suitable place. We are selling our house and will both be buying properties near to his school. I have had a completely active part in my child's life in all aspects including working 5 days in 4 to have him for a day each week (when we were together). My ex wife dropped out of mediation last minute and started making claims of abuse (completely untrue), questioning my mental health and claims of drinking. None of these have any real proof and her mental health issues are worse than anything I have hence I dont believe they carry any weight either way. I have formerly requested 50/50 and she is refusing and threatening to go to court so I see my son only every other weekend. Could she really do this?
BF - 29-Nov-17 @ 11:59 AM
Divorced and seeking - Your Question:
Hi, I’ve been divorced a number of years and always had a mutual agreement regarding visitation with my child’s (10 yrs old) father. He has every other weekend and 6 weeks of holidays throughout the year. He keeps threatening me with 50/50 custody whenever he doesn’t get his way. We share Xmas and have alternate years, this year is his, but the wkend prior happens to be mine (23rd/24th) so I have made plans to see family. He has told me that I’m wrong and this wkend should be his at Xmas is his turn and therefore tough luck. He never tells me if our child has needed medicine whilst in his care (which happened recently). Her bday falls on my wkend, and he asked to see her which is fine, but he’s made a song and dance because I asked if I was going to be invited to whatever he planned for her bday the wk before, as I have to fit parties, clubs etc on her bday wkend. This I was told was tough. He refuses to bring her to clubs on his wkend and insists to come watch her on mine. He makes her choose between going to parties and doing something “extra fun” with him and sometimes even refuses to let her go to a party. He lives 90mins (without traffic) and two major A roads away from where she goes to school. What are the chances of him actually getting 50/50 custody? I don’t want her life turned upside down, and never being settled in a home, she’s a sensitive little soul and I can’t bear to watch her go throug this. Any advice appreciated.

Our Response:
It is unlikley your ex would be granted 50/50 shared care through the courts, if he lives 90 minutes away. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, court is seen as a last resort, your only other recourse is to try to come to an agreement via mediation if you cannot agree between yourselves.
DivorceResource - 21-Nov-17 @ 2:22 PM
Hi, I’ve been divorced a number of years and always had a mutual agreement regarding visitation with my child’s (10 yrs old) father. He has every other weekend and 6 weeks of holidays throughout the year. He keeps threatening me with 50/50 custody whenever he doesn’t get his way. We share Xmas and have alternate years, this year is his, but the wkend prior happens to be mine (23rd/24th) so I have made plans to see family. He has told me that I’m wrong and this wkend should be his at Xmas is his turn and therefore tough luck. He never tells me if our child has needed medicine whilst in his care (which happened recently). Her bday falls on my wkend, and he asked to see her which is fine, but he’s made a song and dance because I asked if I was going to be invited to whatever he planned for her bday the wk before, as I have to fit parties, clubs etc on her bday wkend. This I was told was tough. He refuses to bring her to clubs on his wkend and insists to come watch her on mine. He makes her choose between going to parties and doing something “extra fun” with him and sometimes even refuses to let her go to a party. He lives 90mins (without traffic) and two major A roads away from where she goes to school. What are the chances of him actually getting 50/50 custody? I don’t want her life turned upside down, and never being settled in a home, she’s a sensitive little soul and I can’t bear to watch her go throug this. Any advice appreciated.
Divorced and seeking - 20-Nov-17 @ 11:51 PM
Bacys - Your Question:
Hi, I'm separating with my partner and we have daughter together. I would like our daughter to stay with her, but she has drinking problems. And I don't trust her. What court would SAY? what kind of proof I would need to provide. Because I don't think she will admit it.

Our Response:
Any agreements for access or mutual parenting should be agreed between you both. Court is deemed as a last resort when all other negotiations have failed, including mediation. If your ex has a drinking problem, then you may wish to discuss what care you both think is best for your daughter between you.
DivorceResource - 2-Nov-17 @ 2:58 PM
Hi, I'm separating with my partner and we have daughter together. I would like our daughter to stay with her, but she has drinking problems. And I don't trust her. What court would SAY?what kind of proof I would need to provide. Because I don't think she will admit it.
Bacys - 31-Oct-17 @ 3:24 PM
Mum - Your Question:
I am just separating my partner wants shared custody where me sons stays with him mon- thurs ! He has never looked after him and I go away once a year and my parents look after him cause he can’t , my son has special needs , and my ex doesn’t understand half the time , I don’t feel save him having him like that , I want him to see him cause hie is his dad , but over night is scaring me , and he has some medical issues too , am I in the right to say no ?

Our Response:
If you feel it is in your son's best interests to say no, then you have every right. However, it may be wise to consider mediation in order to come to an arrangement, otherwise your ex would have the option to apply to court. In which case, the court would decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.
DivorceResource - 24-Oct-17 @ 2:45 PM
I have 2 sons aged 8/4.We live in the family home in West Sussex.My husband and their dad left us 4 months ago.I work part time and he works full time.He still provides for them financially.As I work early shifts at the airport and my family being in Scotland he has to stay overnight when I’m working during the week and he takes them to his sisters on the weekends when I work. This equates to approx 11 Days per month. I’m not happy at him staying but we have no choice. However I Maybe made redundant from my job in the new year and I would love to return home to Scotland with my sons.I would like to sell the house in the south and split the equity so we can move on with our lives.I would struggle financially in the south on my own compared with Scotland due to the cost of living being higher.Also I have my family for support and help in Scotland which is invaluable. How feasible is it that a court would rule in favour of me taking my boys up to Scotland?Their dad has already voiced his that he is not I favour of the move despite me saying he can have the boys on school Holidays.
Scotsmum - 24-Oct-17 @ 12:54 PM
I have 2 sons aged 8/4.We live in the family home in West Sussex.My husband and their dad left us 4 months ago.I work part time and he works full time.He still provides for them financially.As I work early shifts at the airport and my family being in Scotland he has to stay overnight when I’m working during the week and he takes them to his sisters on the weekends when I work. This equates to approx 11 Days per month. I’m not happy at him staying but we have no choice. However I Maybe made redundant from my job in the new year and I would love to return home to Scotland with my sons.I would like to sell the house in the south and split the equity so we can move on with our lives.I would struggle financially in the south on my own compared with Scotland due to the cost of living being higher.Also I have my family for support and help in Scotland which is invaluable. How feasible is it that a court would rule in favour of me taking my boys up to Scotland?Their dad has already voiced his that he is not I favour of the move despite me saying he can have the boys on school Holidays.
Scotsmum - 24-Oct-17 @ 12:36 PM
I am just separating my partner wants shared custody where me sons stays with him mon- thurs ! He has never looked after him and I go away once a year and my parents look after him cause he can’t , my son has special needs , and my ex doesn’t understand half the time , I don’t feel save him having him like that , I want him to see him cause hie is his dad , but over night is scaring me , and he has some medical issues too , am I in the right to say no ?
Mum - 20-Oct-17 @ 8:04 AM
Retta - Your Question:
I am seeing this guy he lives in one country and his wife lives in England with there one year old son he send money for his son every month he wants a divorce but afraid he might not see his son he haven't been with his wife in over a year. If he divorce her like how he is the sole financial supporter of his son would he get his son after the divorce? Bear in mind that the baby was born in the UK

Our Response:
It is more than likely the son would remain with the person who is currently the primary carer of the child (in this case, the mother). Who the child lives with permanently is not dependent upon which parent is the sole financial supporter.
DivorceResource - 3-Oct-17 @ 10:07 AM
I am seeing this guy he lives in one country and his wife lives in England with there one year old son he send money for his son every month he wants a divorce but afraid he might not see his son he haven't been with his wife in over a year. If he divorce her like how he is the sole financial supporter of his son would he get his son after the divorce? Bear in mind that the baby was born inthe UK
Retta - 2-Oct-17 @ 5:44 AM
Hct1977 - Your Question:
Hi , me and my ex are separated now, from almost one year. We have 2 daughter's, 5 and 3, we agree first that we will have the kids 50/50, than she moved 45 miles away, now I'm seeing my files every 2 weeks, she used to get them to me, I used to take them back, now she wants me to pick/drop them off, I told her I can't afford this , she told me that I will not see my kids then. Is this possible?Regards

Our Response:
If you and your ex cannot agree, you would have to suggest to your ex that you both attend mediation in order to sort these issues out. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. If your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you would have the option to take the matter to court. The court will then decide upon what it thinks is in your children's best interests. If you were seeing your children more frequently, the court will try to help you maintain this. The can also instruct your ex to meet you halfway if it feels the arrangement is unfair. If you gave your ex permission to move away on the basis you would share the dropping off and picking up of your children and your ex has since renaged on this arrangement, the court can request the former arrangement continues. However, it is impossible to predict what a court may decide as much will depend upon the circumstances.
DivorceResource - 12-Sep-17 @ 10:34 AM
Hi , me and my ex are separated now, from almost one year. We have 2 daughter's, 5 and 3, we agree first that we will have the kids 50/50, than she moved 45 miles away, now I'm seeing my files every 2 weeks, she used to get them to me, I used to take them back, now she wants me to pick/drop them off, I told her I can't afford this , she told me that I will not see my kids then. Is this possible? Regards
Hct1977 - 10-Sep-17 @ 11:24 PM
Helsbels - Your Question:
My son lives with his wife and two children in there three bed rm council house but his wife wants a divorce The tenancy agreement of the house was my sons before he married he the had her name but on it how does he stand does the council have to rehouse him if the house is given to her as he has nowhere to live and the mother in law is getting a bit ott

Our Response:
You can see more via the CAB link here . Your son can speak to someone via the Shelter link here if he wishes to speak to someone directly, as much will depend upon his personal circumstances.
DivorceResource - 1-Sep-17 @ 4:04 PM
My son lives with his wife and twochildren in there three bed rm councilhouse but his wife wants a divorce The tenancy agreement of the house was my sons before he married he the had her name but on it how does he stand does the council have to rehouse him if the house is given to her as he has nowhere to live and the mother in law is getting a bit ott
Helsbels - 29-Aug-17 @ 9:59 PM
Hi, My ex husband and I divorced 2 years ago - we went to mediation in July 2016 and agreed on shared care for our 2 year old son 50/50 split - 3 weeks later my ex told me he couldn't cope with our son and only wanted to see him on a Sunday 10-5pm - this has been happening for 1 year. We went to mediation again today August 2017 I agreed with him alternate weekends but didn't agree with one night in the week due to our son being so young and in bed by 6.30/7pm. He wouldn't agree to that and has now told me he is taking me to court for 50/50 custody. What are the chances of him getting this? We both work full time, our son goes to pre school 2 days a week that is 5 minutes down the road from my house and to his maternal grandparents 3 days a week again 5 minutes away. My ex lives 30 mins away. Thank you for your help.
Shell - 16-Aug-17 @ 5:50 PM
Missmum - Your Question:
Hi,Me and my partner where together 2 years, our son is now 1. We split up recently and he wants him 50/50. Not once the entire time we were together did he change a nappy or take the child at night for me. I did everything for him and I've always been the primary carer. Its only from we broke up that he has this sudden interest. I work part time so am fully capable of being there. My ex works full time and cannot keep the child in his routine. I have him in bed at 7 every night yet when he says with his dad he comes back and isn't sleeping until 12 at night. He is black mailing me saying that if I don't give him 50/50 he will say that I physically abused him. I slapped him once and aplogised which is nothing compared to what he has did. He threw a remote at me while I had the child in my arms just missed by an inch. He has threw me on the ground I also have a witness to this. He has financially and psychologically abused me. His mother screamed at me in a public place and in front of my child called me a slut I reported this to the police. He has me terrified because him and his family would say anything to take my son off me. At the minute I have my child and my ex sees him 4 hours on a sat and sun when he is not working. I'm not denying access a much as I hate him I wouldn't do that. I suggested 1 night one weekend and 2 nights the next. Which I think is completely reasonable considering the child doesn't even want to be there, every time he comes back he is clinging to me and cries everytime I leave the room. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Is there any chance at all that he would get 50/50?

Our Response:
We cannot specify what a court may decide. Where there are accusations of domestic violence and the matter goes to court (if it cannot be resolved via mediation), then Cafcass will get involved and write a report. The Cafcass staff who compile the reports are known as 'children and family reporter's. It’s their job to interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or even relatives. From the interviews they conduct, the reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it. As in all cases both parents will be treated equally. However, the court objective is to always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your son.
DivorceResource - 4-Aug-17 @ 12:33 PM
Hi, Me and my partner where together 2 years, our son is now 1. We split up recently and he wants him 50/50. Not once the entire time we were together did he change a nappy or take the child at night for me. I did everything for him and I've always been the primary carer. Its only from we broke up that he has this sudden interest. I work part time so am fully capable of being there. My ex works full time and cannot keep the child in his routine. I have him in bed at 7 every night yet when he says with his dad he comes back and isn't sleeping until 12 at night. He is black mailing me saying that if I don't give him 50/50 he will say that I physically abused him. I slapped him once and aplogised which is nothing compared to what he has did. He threw a remote at me while I had the child in my arms just missed by an inch. He has threw me on the ground I also have a witness to this. He has financially and psychologically abused me. His mother screamed at me in a public place and in front of my child called me a slut I reported this to the police. He has me terrified because him and his family would say anything to take my son off me. At the minute I have my child and my ex sees him 4 hours on a sat and sun when he is not working. I'm not denying access a much as I hate him I wouldn't do that. I suggested 1 night one weekend and 2 nights the next. Which I think is completely reasonable considering the child doesn't even want to be there, every time he comes back he is clinging to me and cries everytime I leave the room. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Is there any chance at all that he would get 50/50?
Missmum - 4-Aug-17 @ 1:20 AM
sushi - Your Question:
HiMy partner and I have split up, we have 4 children from 12 years to 1 year. I still breastfeed my 1 year old and he has never spent a night away from me. My partner wants shared custody where he gets the kids either 3 nights in a row at a time or a week at a time. I am a stay at home mom and he works long hours often not getting home in time for the kids bed time, my youngest relies on me to put him to sleep and wakes up for feeds during the night. Will he get 50/50 access granted to have the kids 3 nights to a week in a row at a time?

Our Response:
It is unlikely your partner would get shared access if you are the primary carer of your youngest and you are still breastfeeding. If he is working long hours, it is unlikely he will be awarded shared-care through the courts if you can justify your reasons.
DivorceResource - 3-Aug-17 @ 3:07 PM
Hi My partner and I have split up, we have 4 children from 12 years to 1 year. I still breastfeed my 1 year old and he has never spent a night away from me. My partner wants shared custody where he gets the kids either 3 nights in a row at a time or a week at a time. I am a stay at home mom and he works long hours often not getting home in time for the kids bed time, my youngest relies on me to put him to sleep and wakes up for feeds during the night. Will he get 50/50 access granted to have the kids 3 nights to a week in a row at a time?
sushi - 2-Aug-17 @ 11:03 PM
Karen - Your Question:
Hi, I am married to a saudi man of which I have known for 10 yrs but married for 1 yr. hes on a eu family member visa and we have a child in the muddle who is going to turn 1 soon. Unfortunately we are divorcing.which has left me torn but its the healthest decision for us and most importantly for our baby son. I know here in the uk you get joint custody but what happens if your afraid your husband will take your son to saudi and never see him again?? I currently have lawyers but my ex is denying the divorce because of his visa and ocf he cares for our son, but in the beginning of our divorce things were pretty bad as he put alot of fear in me and I was soo terrified of him and my sons safety. He emotionaly gets to me & often makes me feel guilty.but for what?for leaving and for my son Im so truamatised by his actions. And in the past he has said he would fight to take my son. What advise would you give me and what can I do??

Our Response:
Your husband must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before he is allowed to take his/your child abroad, please see link here. However, if you remain concerned, you can seek mediation as a way to try to resolve any access issues between you. Mediation is seen as a legal requirement before a court application can be submitted. If your husband refuses, then you can apply to court either for a child arrangement order which will determine with whom your child should live with, please see link here . Likewise, a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO), is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
DivorceResource - 28-Jul-17 @ 12:26 PM
Hi, i am married to a saudi man of which i have known for 10 yrs but married for 1 yr. hes on a eu family member visa and we have a child in the muddle who is going to turn 1 soon. Unfortunately we are divorcing..which has left me torn but its the healthest decision for us and most importantly for our baby son. I know here in the uk you get joint custody but what happens if your afraid your husband will take your son to saudi and never see him again?? I currently have lawyers but my ex is denying the divorce because of his visa and ocf he cares for our son, but in the beginning of our divorce things were pretty bad as he put alot of fear in me and i was soo terrified of him and my sons safety. He emotionaly gets to me & often makes me feel guilty..but for what?for leaving and for my son Im so truamatised by his actions. And in the past he has said he would fight to take my son. What advise would you give me and what can i do??
Karen - 27-Jul-17 @ 2:22 AM
jamjar - Your Question:
Hi my husband I spiltting up can I take my childern with me to my mums

Our Response:
You would have to negotiate this between you, please see CAB link here for further information.
DivorceResource - 25-Jul-17 @ 10:47 AM
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